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Why Do I Have A Hard Time Letting Go?

Some of us have such a hard time letting go. Whether its letting go of a spoon or letting go of grandmas tea set, some of us have a much harder time then others in letting things go.

I want to run through a few reasons why we struggle and a few ways we can work on changing it.

Guilt is one of the biggest reasons why some of us struggle to let go. Guilt is a nasty little feeling that nags at us, causes so much anxiety, and makes us feel icky for letting go of things that have memories, history or sentimental value and many more reasons behind them as to why we should keep them. OOHHH the things guilt can make so many of us do!

There are many ways to move past the guilt, but the biggest thing is to know that it is just an emotion that has surfaces, and your life is going to be soooo much better once you let go of the guilt as well as let go of the stuff. There are many ways to let stuff go, Marie kondo recommends thanking it and then let it go, this is one way to help us move past the guilt, but also find a place that has meaning to you or find a person who will truly love and cherish the item or items. Taking pictures of things you really truly want to remember and make an album on your phone with them. Keeping things in your home to possibly save money in the future can cost you so much more in the long run. I’ve seen it so many times, people buying bulk soap and then buying more because the forget they have it and then once all of it is categorized, they have piles of soap and other items they forgot they had. Half the time they end up donating all the extras

Lack of Motivation is a huge obstacle for many of us to begin the process of letting stuff go. Some days its that we had a long day, other days we just don’t want to get off the sofa. Some ways to help combat this is some good music, watch some organizing or cleaning videos or just find that spot deep inside you that really wants to live that organized, declutter

life. Schedule a Pick up date and time from a local organization and make that your end goal for finishing your process. I can say from experience, the lack of motivation bug hits everyone in every area of life, what matters is that we still commit and move past it

When you decide to start your decluttering and organizing journey Try writing a list of all the reasons you would like to declutter your life and stick it on your phones home screen or refrigerator. Set daily reminders and an appointment with yourself in your phone and make it a priority. If it helps, get your family in on the fun We highly recommend you don’t declutter any of their things without their permission however.

Mental health issues can cause us to cling on to stuff. Often different traumas in our past can cause us to have a hard time letting go. This can stem from so many different scenarios as well as manifest itself in so many ways. We can struggle with letting go of the past, over buying for our loved ones and not letting go of things in our home. These issues will cause us to struggle with letting go and hoard things. If you are struggling with this and its not just a lack of motivation and some underlying guilt & you are finding you are completely unwilling to let things go, you may want to seek medical treatment to help you move past what the underlying trauma is that is stopping you from letting things go.

Try keeping these things in mind:

Our memories are inside ourselves and not tied up in “things”. Just because you let a vase go that your great great grandmother passed down doesn’t mean you are letting go of her or your memory of her. You can take pictures of these items that “hold a memory” and make a memories album out of them. The more items you have the longer it takes you to clean and tidy your home which takes away from other things that truly mean sometime to you like time with your loved ones.

Truth be told the more things you have, the less likely you are to do the things you truly love as you are going to be too busy tidying and cleaning to actually be able to put time into your family, hobbies or crafts you would prefer to be doing. Whatever your path or journey in life is, it will inevitably involve letting go of certain things. When you let go in an organized way, then you are able to do it on your terms and not let life dictate them. Be strong and direct the course of your life journey. We hope you had a very Happy Holidays and may 2023 be your year!

Melanie McConnell is a Professional Organizer and the owner of Mello Spaces. She helps busy professionals and parents get the organized home of their dreams. Check out her website and follow her on Instagram: @mellospaces

Florena Davies is a Professional Organizer and Owner of Organize by Flo. She uses her experience as a wife and mother of 2 to create real life organizational systems and changes for work and home that allow our 2 worlds to co-exist and 'Flo" together. Check out her website at and on instagram @organizebyflo.

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